


The Way It Goes

by secretly_a_spacaecadet



Series: Should I? (Multi-Fandom One-Shots) [10]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Matt is in love, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Self-Indulgent, Sick Shiro (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22312924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretly_a_spacaecadet/pseuds/secretly_a_spacaecadet
Summary: Ship: Shiro/MattFandom: VoltronCharacters: Shiro and MattWarnings: Mentions of death/dyingWord Count: 1050Written: 2019
Relationships: Matt Holt/Shiro
Series: Should I? (Multi-Fandom One-Shots) [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563439
Kudos: 2





	The Way It Goes

_ **Matt** _

  
I was laying in our shared bed, next to my significant other, Shiro. I had zoned out, so kisses were being pressed to my cheek and temple... wherever he could reach without moving too much. I liked when we were lazy like this, when Shiro was just drowning me in kisses and affection. Sometimes I felt like I would die, this was way too much at times.

  
"Babe, are you okay?" Shiro suddenly asked in between sloppy kisses. 

  
"Yeah, just thinking." I smiled. I hated making him worry about him but at the same time it was nice to know he genuinely cared. 

  
"What are you thinking about, mister?" 

  
"You," my voice was soft. 

  
"Is that good or bad?" 

  
"I want to say both?" I shrugged slightly, it was difficult to move my shoulders much from Shiro's soft, loving kisses and the fact that I was laying flat on my back.

  
"Oh, how so Matty?" He asked with a kiss to me temple. "Please let me know what's going on in that beautiful head of yours." He ruffled my hair playfully.

  
"Shhh Shiro!" I grumbled. 

  
"C'mon Matt tell me," He sighed a little, his voice was full of concern. 

  
I let out a slightly dramatic, elongated sigh. "Fine!" I pouted. "Do you think they'll find a cure for you? Like in your lifetime?" My hand curled in on itself momentarily before relaxing. 

  
Shiro's breathing hitched, I asked something far to straightforward... it was nearly a forbidden topic, and I ran at it face first. It wasn't that we didn't talk about it we did in a more tactical way because it was touchy... it was kind of like a taboo topic, talking about Shiro's mortality. "No, I don't think they can fix it in my lifetime," Shiro's voice was sad and distant. "I just don't think they can make that kind of progress with my prognosis. I'm already at that point where any day I could die, I'm living on borrowed time. But I'm not gonna let not being able to find a cure ruin what time I have, I'm not gonna live my life sad about what I can't change." Shiro smiled. "I'm gonna die me not someone I'm not." He sounded like a man who already had it already figured out the end and was willing to walk towards it... someone who's given up. 

  
"What if they had clinical trials would you try them?" 

  
"Of course I would, I don't want to leave you alone. I have a family, I have our friends, and I have you." Shiro grabbed my hands and squeezed them. "But I try to keep up to date on what's going on with stuff like that but there's not a lot of news or even progress. I have hope but I doubt it'll happen in time to benefit me any."  
"I love you," I mumbled. "I want to do something to help, I want to do more." 

  
"And I love you, love you so much. Please don't cry Matty, it's okay. We have time." 

  
"Jesus Christ Shiro, we don't have enough time, it'll never be enough. Sure, I know it's greedy as hell to want more time with you. I should just be greatly for the time that I get but it's not enough." I frown my free hand violently wiping at my face, trying to get rid of the stupid tears that wouldn't stop falling. "I'm a selfish idiot!" 

  
"Matthew! You are not." Shiro sighed quietly. "I've had years to come to terms with this sad reality, you haven't. If I was in your place I'm sure I'd feel the same." He squeezed my hand. "You're normal, you're perfect, and I'm the selfish one here. I'm gonna break your heart and leave you alone." 

  
"No, no! I want this, I want you. I wouldn't want anyone else but you. Maybe one day but I could never, not now. I'm hopelessly in love with you Shiro." I smile softly to myself, my thumb rubbing small circles over Shiro's knuckles. "I can't see a day when that doesn't stand true."

  
"I know, it's okay Matty," he hummed. "I love you too." He places a few kisses on my neck and cheek. "You're the only one for me." 

  
"We should get married," I said suddenly, biting my lip hard enough to draw blood. "Shit, sorry. I– fuck." I sat up quickly trying to get away from this situation as fast as possible. 

  
"But what about when our time comes to an end? Do you want to be a young widower Matt?" Shiro asked with a slight joking tone but I knew he was being completely serious. Shiro always was like then when I brought up the subject of marriage.

  
"Yeah, that's fine by me. Matthew Shirogane, I get a part of you forever," I whispered, smiling at the mere thought of it.

  
"Yeah, but you'd be a widower at such a young age. You'd get hurt!"

  
I groaned. "Takashi, you're a dumbass."

  
"What do you mean?" 

  
I frowned. "I'm gonna get hurt married or not. You're my boyfriend and no matter what I will get hurt no matter how this ends. If we got married this would seem so much more permeant somehow." I moved so I could look at him directly. 

  
"Then you would feel obligated to stay loyal to me even when I am gone. Sure, it would be permanent but would it hold you back?" Shiro asked, his eyebrow raising in a questioning manner. 

  
"I don't know. I might remain loyal to you even if we didn't get married. I don't know, I haven't lost someone I was hopelessly in love with before."

  
"Mhm, reasonable thought process. I don't know, I wouldn't be able to give you the life you want or deserve."

  
"I can't have what I want Shiro... I'll never have what I want and that's fine." I leaned down and kissed his cheek. "I want you, only you. I know selfish, right?"

  
"No, not at all. I'll think about the marriage thing Matty, okay? I can't promise anything... I love you so much! Now sleep, please."

  
"Ok, I love you too. Promise me you'll go to sleep too baby." I kissed his cheek.

  
"I will I promise. Good night Matty."

  
"Good night 'Kashi."


End file.
